And, it's doing my head in.
I have no idea what to about anything. There are plans and vague ideas and the number of times these plans have changed over the last, let's say month, is insane.
I've recently started a new job, and still getting a feel for it. The people are nice and all...but.
But, what I don't really know. I'm going to keep at it because it's only for a short while, should be good experience. And well, I need the money to see my plans to fruition. Seven weeks can surely not be all that bad can it?
I'm missing home and it sucks balls...
I have no idea what's gonna happen when I get home...and that sucks just as much.
I've been feeling caged in recently. It doesn't make sense as to why either.
I think it's the daily grind...
Work.
Commuting.
Nine to Five.
Public transport.
I'm over it.
I miss being outdoors... I need to get back in touch with nature and I don't know when, I don't know where.
My plans require massive amounts of saving - this will eventually get me out to nature! I'm not sure I can wait that long.
I may just have to and keep reminding myself of the bigger picture.
The reason why I'm involved in the daily drudgery of life...
1 comment:
this is something that's done the email rounds so many times already...but it kinda encompasses how i'm feeling! fortunately/unfortunately...
For those of us in our twenty-somethings, this puts it all
into words perfectly. They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you
didn't know....and may not like.
You start feeling a little
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then
you get scared, because you barely know where you are NOW.
You start realizing that people really are selfish and maybe
those friends that you thought you were so close to, aren't exactly
the greatest people you have ever met, but the people you lost
touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not
realize, is that they are realizing that too. They are not really
cold or catty, mean or insincere, but are merely as confused as you
and a little caught up.
You look at this job you have.
It is not even close to what you thought you would be
doing... Or maybe you don't even have one. That's even better.
You miss the comforts of socializing with the same people on
a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so
great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what
you want and do not want. Your opinions seem to have gotten
stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging
more than usual, because suddenly you realize that you have set
certain boundaries in your life, and are adding
to the list of things that you find acceptable or not.
You feel insecure and then so very secure. You seem to laugh
and cry with the greatest of forces. You feel alone and scared and
confused.
Suddenly change is the enemy, you try and cling on to the
past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting
further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are.... or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved
could do such damage to you or how YOU let them have that much
control on your heart. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't
meet anyone decent enough spend time with to get to know better.
You finally love someone.... but you also love someone else
too, You cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are
not a bad person. Really you aren't....One night stands and
random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting
like an idiot looks pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over
and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot
seem to make a decision on anything.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a
life for yourself, and while winning the race would be great, right
now you would just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
Relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times,
trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Post a Comment