Shades of Grey

This all started with me sharing this link- an article by David Moseley - with some of my nearest and dearest.

I shared it because it's funny! And because some of what he's said rings true; what with seeing all and sundry, friends and friends of friends getting married - thanks to photos and status updates on facebook!

I got a nudge nudge wink wink, what are you trying to say...

My reply:

I'm sharing a funny article and no nudging or winking!

Sharing the article was somewhat case-in-point when a day or so later, I received a friend request from a now married high school friend!

I then dared comment and say that it looks like I will meet my record for being in a relationship with being single... and THEN I was told to stop wanting things that are obviously not meant for me right now.

I was fuming when I read this... and I've been trying to figure out why.

It is not about wanting what I cannot have. I was delivering commentary on my life as I see it - having gone from serial monogamist to terminally single (which is possibly another form of serial monogamy albeit with myself; but that's neither here nor there, and a topic I choose not to dig in to very often or share over the interwebz).

This change in relationship status was at first by choice, then by circumstance and now...it's whatever.

I digress.

It's not that I don't want to be in a relationship.

But it's also not like I'm sitting around waiting for some man to - heaven forbid - 'complete me.'

If I ever get to this stage - ever - I give permission to whoever to have me shot!

I have learned - or come to realise - that one can not be completed by another human being. You need to be whole by yourself, relying on someone else to make you whole is looking for disaster.

I have never been of the opinion that you need another person to complete you - be this person a significant other or a friend. Everyone has their own plans and lives to live; waiting around for someone is letting life pass you by.

I chose to embark on an overseas adventure by myself. There is no way I will ever regret this choice.

Further commentary delivered by of my nearest and dearest after I said that it's not about hunkering after something that I know is not likely to happen anywhere in the near future:

"That is what I meant. Great for the married people, but you are travelling Europe and how many of the married people can claim they've done the same thing. You should take a moment to think that perhaps you are the lucky one - that your married friends are envious that you had the guts to go out there and experience something they only thought about or dreamt about. Travel makes you see the world differently and not only because you left the motherland but because you meet people you wouldn't meet in day to day living, you experience things, and food and cultures you wouldn't at the bottom of Africa. Marriage changes you, and not just because you're married but because you now have responsibilities you've not had before."

I'm not disagreeing with any of this!

I have met people in my travels who have not left their home country - and have no desire to either. This train of thought completely baffles me.

However, in the end, it's their choice.

For one person, a house, a car and financial security is important; for me - spending my money on seeing a small corner of the globe I can currently afford to see is important.

Who am I to judge someone because they prefer to know where they will be five years from now when I currently don't even have a six MONTH plan?

For me it's not about the grass being greener on the other side (and wanting what you can't have, or don't have) - because I don't really think it is.

It is about recognising, or perhaps realising, that life is not black and white - but rather shades of grey ad infinitum!

You may be happy with what you have, but of course there will be times when you can't help but wonder what if.

This is human nature - there's no point in fighting it. Acknowledge it, think about it, and get on with living because life is not going to wait for you to decide now is the moment I will do the one thing I have always wanted to - especially when you've already had numerous opportunities to do it.

What is it that's forever being thrown around: Life is what happens when you're making other plans!